Losing a loved one can profoundly shake lives. But grief is not a sign of weakness, but an important process for dealing with the farewell. Here you can find out which phases of grief there are, what forms it can take and how you can find your way back to everyday life step by step — including digital memorial pages and special child and adolescent grief.
Grief is a natural, complex response to loss — usually the loss of a loved one, but also the loss of a pet or other significant life goals. It includes a wide range of feelings such as pain, anger, helplessness, sometimes even relief (e.g. when a long period of suffering comes to an end). Grief ultimately serves to understand, step by step, that a familiar situation has irrevocably changed.
Why is grief so important?
Various models describe the grieving process. There is often talk of four phases, but five phases are also common (similar to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's model). These phases can overlap and are carried out individually by each person:
1. Not wanting to believe
State of shock: The loss seems unreal. You don't want to believe it and feel paralyzed.
2. Anger and erupting emotions
Intense feelings: anger, anger, but also feelings of guilt and despair. The extent of these emotions can vary significantly.
3. Negotiate/search
Survivors are looking for answers (“What could I have done differently? “), think of shared memories and negotiate internally with fate.
4. Depression/ Withdrawal
feeling of great emptiness and despondency. Many find it difficult to cope with everyday life; they become aware that people are really not coming back.
5. Acceptance/ New self-reference
Gradual acceptance of the new reality. A careful new start is possible. At the same time, there is a growing awareness that life continues, even though it is different than before.
Note: The length of each phase may vary. Some people spend longer in a certain phase, while others spend a different time in a different order.
We are there for you at every stage of the farewell process — call us 24/7 and we will arrange your funeral, whether it be an earth burial, sea burial, tree burial or cremation, with empathy and care.
In case of an emergency, we are available by telephone 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. We offer our funeral services throughout Germany, with locations in the following cities:
Coping with grief — also known as grief work — comprises all steps that serve to accept the loss and restore a stable emotional balance. It is not about “working again quickly”, but about finding an individual way to deal with the farewell. This may include:
Children and young people grieve differently than adults. Younger children are often quick to switch back and forth between sadness and happy play. Teens, on the other hand, are more likely to retreat or react with mood swings. Key aspects:
Sometimes grief remains strong over a longer period of time and completely affects everyday life. One then speaks of unprocessed grief or “complicated” grief. First signs may be:
In such cases, it may be useful to seek professional help in coping with grief.
The latest WHO classification (ICD-11) contains a specific diagnosis of long-lasting grief, the so-called Prolonged Grief Disorder. It is present when symptoms persist for at least six to twelve months, depending on the cultural context. If such a persistent grief disorder is suspected, psychotherapeutic treatment may be necessary.
Anyone who has the feeling that they can no longer find their way out of grief alone can contact appropriate offers. This includes:
Who pays grief counselors?
Whether the costs are covered by health insurance depends on the individual case. Some health insurance companies finance certain consulting services. Health insurance usually covers psychotherapeutic treatments, provided that a diagnosis is available. In the case of private offers (e.g. independent grief counseling), the costs are often borne by yourself.
Design a farewell that provides comfort and reflects your wishes — create a non-binding offer now and receive transparent price information.
You can make yourself a free offer here or simply give us a call. In any case, we will provide you with a non-binding consultation, discuss any questions you may have and how you would like your funeral to proceed.
The most intensive phase varies individually. Some people experience particularly strong emotions for a few weeks or months, others longer. As a rule, it can be assumed that there will be some relief after about six to twelve months, but that is not a rigid law.
It often helps to allow feelings, share memories and maintain everyday rituals. Even small glimpses of hope, such as exercise in the fresh air, conversations and distractions, can bring relief step by step.
Be patient with yourself, exchange ideas with confidants and, if necessary, a professional help with grief management form good foundations. Grief is not a linear process. Setbacks are normal and not a sign of failure.
Sudden accidental death or suicide often makes grief difficult, as there is no opportunity to say goodbye. Many survivors struggle with severe feelings of guilt or a lack of understanding why the loss happened.
Anyone who is interculturally connected should familiarise themselves with various memorial traditions in order to find suitable rituals.
It is also important to regulate the deceased's digital estate, such as access to online accounts.
Grief is a fundamental part of being human and can take on various forms and duration. The most important message is: Grief takes time and can be lived through consciously. At the same time, it is advisable to take signs of delayed or unprocessed grief seriously and to resort to offers of help in good time.
Would you like to organise a funeral that suits your life situation?
We from Memovida are available to answer any questions you may have about individual funerals to the side. If you would like the farewell to go according to your wishes, feel free to contact us — we will take the time to answer your concerns. We offer various forms of burial, such as tree burials, sea burials, burials or cremations, throughout Germany, for example in Berlin, Cologne and Munich.
(Note: We do not offer direct grief counseling or grief therapy ourselves. Please contact psychological professionals, grief counselors or other specialized agencies for this purpose.)
